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“I Like Girls That Wear Abercrombie + Fitch”

I normally do not talk about my personal beliefs on here, any politics, anything that may upset anyone, blah blah blah. But today, there’s something I gotta get off my chest that may upset a few people, but it just has to be said.

Last week the CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch said how he wasn’t going to make any clothes in sizes larger than a Size 10, and how he wants to market to ‘the cool kids’ and anyone else just doesn’t belong; and everyone got their American Eagle panties in a twist about it and thought it was just, the worst thing any man has ever done. (That’s already happened tweens, it’s called the Holocaust) There is even a damn petition to get him to change his business so a bunch of people can tell him how much he has hurt their feelings. 

And all I have to say is, get the hell over it! So what that this man has a vision for his business that doesn’t suit you. Americans are fat and that is not something we should be just okay with.

I’m so fed up with hearing about it, it’s not even funny. There are plenty of businesses that market to a certain kind of person, and we’ve never been upset with it in the past; but as soon as a man starts talking about a woman’s weight we all gotta huddle together and call him a women hater and un-American. Well, let me tell you, I’m a size 4 and if I went into Lane Bryant or Cacique a plus size lingerie store I would be told “We don’t market to your size”.

From a marketing report, Lane Bryant’s marketing Mission/Vision statement is as follows: “Our continuing mission is to serve the lifestyle apparel needs of women wearing plus sizes with the very best service, fashion selection, value and fit.” 

Now tell me, are all the skinny girls running to sign a petition against them?

And yet, do you see me freaking out? Stomping my foot and pouting like a little 5 year old because some store doesn’t make my size. Instead of crying because we’re a size 16 and can’t fit into a size we want, how about we get healthy? Stop eating the McDonald’s and walk a mile in a business owners shoes and understand that, this is America. You have the right to complain and whine about how a 100 year old company won’t do what you ask because it hurts your feelings. And he has the right do follow the vision he has for his business.

We all want the American Dream. But if you really think being a cookie cutter ‘American Girl’ means dressing in Abercrombie and saying “Like” every other sentence go right ahead and dream girl. But If you can’t get past getting upset because one man is telling you that you can’t fit in to his clothes, you aren’t the girl I thought you were. Be proud of who you are, but be respectful of other people do. Don’t like the way you look? Change it and have your Pretty Woman moment when you lose the weight and work it, but don’t condemn this man for his American Dream vision.

Yeah, we can’t all be blessed with a size zero figure, and who wants to be that skinny? But I guarantee you, 100% if I went into Lane Bryant, I’d get the same scowl this CEO is giving these girls. They’d look at me like I was crazy for coming in here, how dare I. But we don’t make a fuss about it. And that is called a double-standard.

We all know that there are stores directed to thinner people, and to the plus size women. There are stores for tall girls, and small girls, big boobed small boobed, and we don’t make any fuss about any of those stores until one we liked decides to say upfront what we all already know. So what’s the big freaking deal? We can sign all the little petitions we want, and cry and whine and stomp our foot like we are five, or we can prove people wrong. But we can’t blame the man who’s running the store because that’s his targeted audience.

So we’re not all model material big whoop. But should this man really be our number one enemy right now because he didn’t call you ‘cool’? If you’re just going to sit there and let one man define you, and believe him then you really are diluted. I promise life isn’t always like High School. And if you let it be, all your life will ever be is drama, drama, drama. Grow up. And if you really think Abercrombie and Fitch is like, the best fashion since the flapper dress…you probably don’t have good taste anyways.

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What Like It’s Hard?

Have you ever thought to yourself, “School is just not for me?” We bust our butts for twelve years, all of our teachers telling us that we need to do our best or else no college will want us. We stress over SAT’s and getting honor roll, like that is the final say in our future.

But it has been proven that 1 out of 2 college graduates in our generation doesn’t have a job after they get our of college; and the ones who have a job is it even a job they like? I have been saying for most of my academic life that college wasn’t for me; and now here I am in college and I absolutely hate it. Instead of just wasting time in a school I know can’t teach me anything that will help me in the real world; why can’t we (our parents) just accept the fact that college isn’t for everyone?

Midterms and finals. Professors that think they know everything and some may enrich your life, but most of them aren’t there to actually help you, they are there just to blab on about how they know better than you and you will never be as smart as them.

Intelligence isn’t measured by how many math problems you can solve, and how well you can write an academic paper, or if you get straight A’s. There are 7 different kinds of ways students learn, so why is there only 1 type of college out there? Sure there are the few exceptions, but they come at a hefty price, ($30,000 per year). People learn in many different ways, and jobs don’t really use anything you learn in college anyways. (You have to take a gym credit in college for Christ sake). Learning should be about the way each person learns, and if college isn’t for you, you shouldn’t be penalized for not having a  top notch, expensive education when I know more from the novels I read and the experiences I get out of life.

Sure, college is great for the future doctors, and people who love academia and thrive in college settings. But what about the people who thrive out in the real world? For someone with more life experience, and street smarts that would make any employer happy with their work ethic and smarts, they are over looked by the person with the piece of paper saying that they know how to come to class on time and follow directions.

Most of us are sheep in this world, but for the people that cut their own path in life, where are the programs and chances for them? The ones who backpack through France and teach themselves French instead of learning it in a stuffy classroom with tests and teachers who have never stepped foot outside the US?

I am sick of it. We talk so much about education reform , and forget that it’s not just about teaching Latin, and mathematics, we need to have more schools with more options, and I don’t just mean having computers in every classroom. I’m talking about having teachers with life experience and teaching their students to do the same. Don’t follow the crowd just because there’s hope of a job at the other end. Most of the time, there’s not. So we have these fancy degrees hung on our rooms of our parent’s house and no money to do the things we promised ourselves we’d do once we’d graduate college and our lives are still on the back burner because we did what was the norm in society.

Just because you didn’t go to college, or finish college doesn’t make you a bad person, or a dumb person. On the contrary. Sure, there are the people that are just too dim witted to do college, but for the rest of us…who’d rather have life experience and follow our own path…why must we follow in the footsteps of those before us when the world is looking for the people that make their own path’s in the world.

We can’t just follow the path like mindless drones because that’s what our parents did and their parents before them. If we want to be truly successful and honest people, you have to do what feels right to you. Sure, people who go to college may have the degree to fall back on, but if it’s just hanging up in the bedroom you still had when you were 17 in your parents house, what’s the point? You get a mediocre job (if there’s any left) and you spend your life wishing and dreaming of what could have been if you just had followed your own dreams and did what YOU want.

We shouldn’t be pushed into something that we know is wrong for us, when our true potential is right there, all we need is society to stop putting us down for being different. Look at all the people who dropped out of college and are successful. We forget about them because our parents tell us that they are freaks of nature and that could never be us.

Aren’t we all freaks of nature? And isn’t that what makes us unique? America was born on the ideal that everyone was entitled to the pursuit of happiness. Let us have ours. Because yes, being a wolf in sheep’s clothing is hard when you’re destined for greater things than being ordinary.

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Baby It’s Cold Outside

I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but here on the East Coast it is a good 22 degrees and even though all of the spring fashion lines are coming out, all I can think about is staying warm!

But who says that staying warm means you have to nix your cute jackets and skirts? Don’t get me wrong as much as I love my North Face jacket and I love that it keeps me warm, sometimes a girl just wants to look cute out in the cold weather! So what’s in my closet for this arctic weather that can double as a head turner?

First and foremost would be a wool, white coat. I am in love with winter white, and maybe I own too much of it; but it looks good on everyone, and you’ll stand out in the sea of black pea coats! One like Olivia Pope in Scandal is to die for; but the coat to the left (Michael Kors) will have to do. Match it with some red Ralph Lauren gloves and a black hat and you’ll be no match for the wind!

And who can think of the winter cold without a good scarf to go along with anything that you wear between the months of November through March? Some prefer small scarves, or maybe the ‘infinity scarf’ but my personal favorite is just a big scarf that you can wrap around your neck and look fabulous without losing your head in the bunches of material?

Any good scarf can be a stand out piece in your wardrobe and outfit. If you’re a plain Jane and like simple, no patterns in your outfits, the scarf is the perfect way to show a pop of color. If you prefer a solid color all the time, a darker color scarf can contrast your hair (for all you fellow blondies out there) and with that white coat…Perfection!

But what about when you’re out of the cold and into the boyfriend’s house? Winter weather gives us the opportunity to be many different women just by taking off a layer of clothing. After taking off the coat and the scarf, what will he find underneath? A cozy cable knit sweater that says “Baby hold me tight?” or a tight sweater that says “Baby I’m ready to play”.

Make his eyes wander with more layers, a cardigan perhaps and a frilly belt, show off your best assets and be a winter fashionista.

What are some of your winter staple pieces? What do you do to keep warm in this cold weather? I know that Mike & I will be cozying up with a big cup of coco and a good movie. As it gets colder outside, make it warmer inside with that special someone.

Even though Spring Fashion Week is creeping up, don’t forget we still have a few more months of winter left! And January is the best time to stock up on winter clothes, everything is on clearance, and it gives you the time to start saving for Spring & Summer attire! Shops like Target, Old Navy, Banana Republic all have great clearance sales that can make any girls budget happy, and perhaps find a new outfit for a winter date that makes you the keeper.

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The Best Part About Being a Woman…

Ah to be a woman. We can rule the world by day and look fabulous by night. Wear those heels to work and dress to kill, without batting an eyelash. But there are some things about being a woman that just plain suck!

  • Periods.

Yep, I said it. The one thing all of us completely dread. We forgo the white pants for a week, try to stay off the caffeine, and yet we still have the PMS, and get angry when we can’t fit into our sexy jeans for a night out with the boyfriend. Not to mention, trying not to ruin our unmentionables. Jesus. Just for one week of hell, can’t it really be like the commercials where we wear all white stroking a fluffy cat by the beach? Yeah, in our dreams!

  • Hair maintenance.
This is always my favorite. I love how some people think that our hair is always perfect all the time, and the dye somehow just magically got on our heads. Not so much. It got there after spending a small fortune on having it dyed (if you go the professional route) and then the upkeep with getting it trimmed and teased. We do not look fabulous as soon as we wake up in the morning. To quote the very chic Carrie Bradshaw “I don’t wake up in the morning looking like this. I actually need stuff to look this way”. So we buy our Chi hair straightener, our Dove hairspray, our John Frieda ‘keep my hair looking blonde and not bronze’ shampoo & conditioner, and by the end of the day our wallets, (that we probably paid too much for) are empty.
  •  Working Out.
I’ll say it, if I could loaf around on my couch all day and eat Salt & Vinegar chips and not gain any weight I totally would. But, that being an unreachable utopia, we must work out the figure we desperately diet to keep. Eating right, don’t eat after 10pm (haven’t got that one down just yet) don’t eat your body weight in carbs, all the rules are just dying to be broken. However, I like my workout clothes, I like the feeling after I work out, that sense of accomplishment, however, pulling my warm butt out of bed to go into the wintery cold is the last thing I want to do in the mornings.
 To say the least, we are not perfect. But we should praise the men in our lives who do think we are that way, and love us to no end. Being a girl is tough in the 21st century. We can have anything, anytime we want it, and being on top of the world isn’t a dream anymore it’s a reality. But it’s okay to bitch it out once in awhile. That’s what makes us human, and there’s always a good story behind it. So grab a friend, grab the boyfriend, grab anyone who will listen and vent it out. Say what you hate about the mundane daily tasks that make being a woman sometimes suck.
And if they say “stop complaining” say “hey I’m a woman…it’s what I’m programmed to do”.
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Pretty In Pink

Happy Sunday Everyone!

Today I want to talk about something a bit more solemn than usual. As you know it now being October, it is National Breast Cancer Month and respectfully I would like to take some time out to honor the women who have come before us and have stood through the peril, those who have lost their battle, and those who have beat the beast, like my Grandmother.

A few years ago we were informed that she too had been dealt a tricky and unlucky hand; but that did not deter her and she knew she was going to beat it. My grandfather stood by her side, as we all did while she had surgery, a single mastectomy, and she still looked beautiful as ever. 

Unfortunately, all breast cancer stories do not end as happily as my grandmother’s. It’s hard not to sound cliche while talking about such things, because I think we all know someone who has battled with cancer, whether or not it be breast, brain, pancreatic cancer, our love ones, and ourselves are always at risk. We live in a time where someone in our immediate family or someone we love who is on the front lines.

Because we cannot have a ‘moment of silence’ on a blog (obviously) let’s take a moment for resilience, and make a promise we will always do our best for early detection and never lose the courage and bravery of the women that have been before our time and have paved the way in research.

As a woman, some of us have more of a chance of developing breast cancer because of our risk factors, which include:

  1. Family history
    If you have a sister, or your mother has been diagnosed; your risk is doubled.
  2. Smoking
    First of all, you should not be smoking, but if you are a smoker it is directly linked to a higher risk of breast cancer in younger women. (Still think it’s cool to smoke?)
  3. Not exercising enough
    I know, we all hate the hour we slave away at the gym for little results, but just exercising 4 hours or more a week lowers your risk of breast cancer. Tight butt & cancer free? Yes please!

Of course I could go on, but I think you get the idea. Kind of sounds like a broken record, because I know you’ve heard all these things before. But I guess the reason I’m so adamant about talking about it is because it’s the reality of the situation and no more lives should have to taken because early detection can save so many lives.

Like Giuliana Rancic; it was a twist of fate that she found out about her cancer diagnosis when she was trying to get pregant with her husband Bill, they do routine mamograms and without it, she may not have caught it early.

It’s inevitable that bad things will always happen in this world. And bad things will happen to good people. After winning her battle with breast cancer my grandmother lost her partner of 60 years, the love of her life, a survivor of cancer himself, and my grandfather. Life isn’t fair all the time.

We can only take what knowledge we learn throughout our lives and have it guide us through life. Without it, we wouldn’t know many of the things that can prevent cancers, or know that catching things early is a good sign most of the time.

Mike told me last week a term about knowledge and how it’s ‘in the air’, the “zeitgesit” if you will. If we all can share enough knowledge about important things in the world, we all will be better off and know a little more.

Knowledge is beauty, and we all should be pretty in pink.

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Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice

Happy Fall everyone!

Now that the leaves are  finally starting to turn, and I can take my sweaters out of the closet; it is my favorite time of year! Pumpkin spice lattes and cable knit sweaters and hats, where can you go wrong? Autumn is also a great time to model new fashion and get rid of some of your old stuff you don’t wear anymore (donate or sell it) and buy new and comfy cute clothes for autumn and winter.

But what to buy? A few staple pieces are always in my closet for fall, no matter if it’s almost 70 degrees out or getting closer to December and heavy sweaters are needed.

  • Number one would have to be a killer pair of boots 
    whether you are into brown or black, a boot says “Autumn here I am”  To get into leaves, riding horses, or just making your butt look good for that date at the pumpkin patch. Boots can look good on any body type, whether you’re short (like me) they make your legs look long and lean or curvy and cute they will make your legs appear slimmer and show off your curves. Pair them with a dress (like Reese) or jeans, boots are a definite yes for fall.
  • Number two is a cable knit sweater for cozy nights with the boyfriend
    This is a must for any girl, like the books cable knits look good on anyone, anytime. Ask any of my friends, I am a firm believer in sweaters. Yes they’re not the sexiest thing in the world, but they are adorable with a pair of fitted jeans and they keep you warm.
  • Number three is a hot blazer that is good for work or home
    I am a big fan of blazers, they are very multi-functional and you can wear them anywhere and they will fit the dress code. Whether it be at work paired with some khaki slacks, running errands with a pair of jeans and boots, or out with the girls at Sunday brunch. I love collars, I think anyone can pull them off and on a blazer, it’s okay if you pop the collar.

 

What do you consider ‘staple pieces’ for fall? Do you go for more comfy cozy, or sexy tight sweaters and skirts? Personally I like a little bit of both.

J. Crew

Now, where can you get the most bang for your buck and still get quality warm clothes? I find that TJ-MAXX is always in high supply of sweaters, cable knit, cardigans and you can get brands such as Anne Taylor, Kenar, Anne Klein Ralph Lauren. All good designers for fall.

The one thing that I find most difficult to find, is quality boots for a good price. And by a good price a mean under $100. (okay, maybe  I’ll go a few dollars over) A couple of seasons ago I got adorable boots at Target, but their boots have yet to come to the stores and I for one am frustrated! It’s almost November and I need my boot fix. Of course there is DSW to consider, even though they are a little over-priced sometimes it is well worth it.
Where do you shop for fall? Are you willing to spend a little bit more to get that extra feel of cashmere?  Or are you willing to go all out and splurge on a J. Crew sweater for $400? (Me? Not so much)
Fall is my favorite season because of the fashion and weather all in one, summer of course is great with the sun dresses and flip flops, but I find I’m most myself in the fall in my fisherman’s sweater reading a book sipping my pumpkin spice latte.

J. Crew

As you probably already know, as soon as it hits September we all go a little pumpkin spice crazy here. (At least on the east coast), and I am loving every second of it!
What are your favorite things about fall? Is it the fashion? Is it because it’s only two months before Christmas? What are some things you’d dress your guy in for fall? Would love to hear suggestions for a follow up post for our guys out there for the fall season!
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Is the Juice Worth the Squeeze?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that at some point we all have to do stuff we don’t want to do. Unfortunately, this is one of those times. Have you ever had one of those days where something you wanted so bad is right there, you can smell it even, but something is in your way; and it feels as if that is the one thing holding you back from your dreams?

Mike told me a story a few weeks back, about Raven’s player Ray Lewis. How he wanted to be in football so bad, he would do push-ups until he couldn’t breath, he wanted it that bad he said that his pain motivated him.

I can say, I’ve never wanted something so much I was willing to sacrifice for it, in fact this is the first time in my life I’ve wanted something so bad it hurts. Have you ever wanted something that bad? And there’s just one thing holding you back, and maybe that thing doesn’t understand you, and you butt heads constantly and you think to yourself “How am I ever going to get through this?”

I feel we all need a little bit of a Ray Lewis in our lives, or at least his motivation and his drive; because without it where does that leave us? Giving up? Because trust me I’ve been there and it sucks. Even when you feel like the whole world, or one person in particular is against you, be the bigger person, because you are on to better things and that person, well, that person will be in the dark forever because they refuse to change their ways.

What motivates you? Is it hopes of a better future? Is it one person? Or is it you? Can we all be our own Ray Lewis’ for once and stand up to those who are making our dreams just dreams and then when they are out of our minds, we are capable of doing anything we put our minds to. One person cannot stand in our way of our goals because then that makes them the winner if we give up. And we don’t want that, we’re supposed to be our own hero in our story, not the villain who sabotages our own dreams. That does not sound like a good ending.

Let’s call our inner gladiator and fight! I know I could use a little bit more of that on a daily basis. I’m no meek girl by any means, but maybe I do give up too easily, but I cannot let a simple thing like one silly little person get in my way of accomplishing my dreams!

What have you overcome to make your dreams a reality? Has it been hard? Is the juice worth the squeeze?

 

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Hotter Than Revenge

Every Sunday I have a little more joy in my life because Revenge is back! When the show first aired last year, I thought “Will this be as good as The Count of Monte Cristo?” And it was, it really was. In fact, I think I even like it more; with a female protagonist, Emily Thorne, I ask myself the question: Is her revenge really justified?

Mike said he had a problem relating to Emily in the show, saying she was nothing like Edmond Dantes; the man who took revenge in Alexandre Dumas’ novel. And I can see that but to me, Revenge is the best show on television this year.

First of all, let me say the fashion is enough to make any girl wish she was living in Montauk, or South Hampton in the summer time (even if that means having a few daddy issues). From Victoria’s extravagant luncheons and parties, to Emily and Daniel’s dates in and out of prison. Is anyone on this show not good looking? And having Madeleine Stowe? Extra brownie points.

Secondly, the story line has me watching re-runs on Netflix of Season One, and waiting anxiously for Sunday at 9pm for the new episodes to come on, it’s addicting. But not in one of those ways that soap operas are, or how some shows lose their mysterious edge after season one. Season Two has already some crazy questions going through my head – why and how are the white haired man and “Emily’s” mother in an intimate relationship? And the question I’m dying to know, and hoping for: Are Emily and Daniel getting back together?

Yes, he is a Grayson, but I love them together. Even in Season Two he is with ugh, Ashley, and he has that older looking haircut, and he’s more aggressive, I can’t help but love them. Yes, Victoria is always against them and Emily is out for his entire family, and a little pang in my heart says “Emily & Jack, Emily & Jack” He’s with Amanda and having a baby, and he seems bitter than ever. But Jack has always been one to keep a chip on his shoulder.

Fashion and passion, lust and vengeance; can one ask for something more out of a show?

The plot only thickens as we get into Season Two, Emily’s old love interest in Japan – Emily lying to Amanda about the baby not being Jack’s. Revenge is getting hotter and hotter by the episode, and I am hooked.

Within the first episode of the new season, as Emily looks into the porthole at Ashley, where last season she glared in at Victoria, I can’t help but wonder…Who is she going to get revenge on next?

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The Truth About Being Fourteen

When we’re young we may feel as the whole world is caving in on us. The age of innocence and wonder, when we’re in our early teens it seems as if the world is right at our doorstep; and yet it only takes one breath to blow it all away. Even though I am well into my early twenties, I couldn’t help but remissness about the time when there were no bills, and cell phone calls, and the simplicity of it all.

Some may say that it’s your parents that saved you through the angst ridden time of your early teens, or maybe it was your friends who got you out of the house from time to time, but for me, my salvation in those early years of not knowing what being a ‘teen’ really meant were my books, especially my novels by Sarah Dessen.

When I would sit down and read one of her books, it was like the whole world had just stopped for a minute, and I was in the mind of a girl who thought just like me, had problems just like me, and her life turned out okay. I still remember sitting on my couch, begging my parents to buy me The Truth About Forever, the first book I ever read by her and reading it, was something that no parent (sorry guys) or friend (again sorry) could ever give to me.

It was a promise, a promise that life does actually get better. All the problems you have when you’re fourteen seem to be monumental in your life, and now, almost ten years later I can say that if I knew then what I knew now, I would have saved myself a ton of heartache  and up all nights.
Of course I was up half the night reading anyways. Miss Dessen has 10 books that got girls at that age, got girls at that time. She was surely the voice of reason to my generation. Her books gave a sense of calming to the anxious mind of a teenage girl, and when you’re that age you don’t want to listen to your parents; you don’t want to listen to your friends because you feel as if someone is always judging you. But a book, a book can never judge you, a book can cradle your inner most fears and say “Hey, I’m just like you”

Just how, in Almost Famous, music was important to William, so much that he wrote for Rolling Stone , even though he got his heart ripped out by them, in the end he got his interview and got his faith back.

Books are like that for me, especially Sarah Dessen’s novels, who hold a special place in my heart for when I was younger. Books can transport you any where you want to go, you just have to be open minded enough to let them take you there, and maybe they’ll be your escape one day. That’s what made me want to become a writer, to write something that someday, someone would say ‘thank you for writing this, you get me’.

And when my kids are at that impressionable age, I hope that they reach for books the way I did, instead of looking for the answers from another fourteen year old girl or looking for it on Google through their phones. Childhood is a beautiful thing if you let it blossom without the strains of technology. Google doesn’t have all the answers, and neither do parents sometimes; sometimes you just have to get lost in a world of imagination that you created, and that you can flourish without anyone around. That is the beauty of a good book, and that is the beauty of Sarah Dessen.

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